F*&% water weight!!!!

Just ran my mile in 11 minutes and 19 seconds.  Getting stronger everyday and earning this shit!!!!
Did 1.35 miles today and my ass is tired!

Aunt Flo came... and brought Cousin Laziness and Hunger with her...

Uuuugghhhhh....

My period is in full gear and has brought a grumpier, more sensitive, hungrier me... I know I need to mentally get past this by going to work out and really pushing past this time of intense carb cravings. Last night I did okay. I had my west indian curry with quinoa. I started off with a half a cup of quinoa and then wanted more so went for 1/4 cup more. I was just HUNGRY. My intention was at first to eat Cauliflower mash but I wanted something carby!! I also had some blue chips prior to my meal, so clearly, I was HUNGRY. Tonight, I plan on low carbing it up with some spaghetti squash. At least that is the plan. Then I am going to have a huge bowl of watermelon and blueberries with a half a cup of light cool whip. I am hoping that will trick my body into thinking I am eating ice cream. 

Anyways- I've just been super sensitive and I know its just my period and its stupid. Someone at work just made an offhanded comment about how I am just losing water weight and blah blah blah. Well you know what, Ive worked super duper hard for this "water weight" and I am going to keep on going.  Being that I've had issues in my past about my body and stuff, its hard when people make comments and I have the insecurity monster creep up into my head. My time of having an eating disorder is definitely long gone and I am dedicated to be healthy about this because I know the damage you can do to your body but the insecurity still lingers a bit, in the back of your head. But I am so blessed that I have a louder voice with my husband that screams how much he loves every inch and every mark on my body. He. is. awesome :)

So in addition to my weight loss, I've also been transforming my face. Due to PCOS plus coupled with having african american sensitive skin, I have TERRIBLE hyperpigmentation along my forehead, jawline, and  neck. I am blessed to have a symptom of PCOS that does not include irregular periods, however I did have the cysts (when I did a follow up after childbirth, my cysts were shed and so no cysts thus far), I had the insulin resistance, and I had the hirsutism, which is the abnormal hair growth on a woman which often would affect my jaw and neck. Always very embarrassing. Well now, I am undergoing an expensive dermatological treatment. I did this treatment prior to my wedding and was so happy with the results. I am excited to be doing it now BUT my skin is undergoing the first stage of redness and peeling like I am a damn iguana. I knew it was coming but its funny to see people look at my face and pretend not to notice when they are clearly staring at it.  Its been about two weeks since i've started and I already see a difference so I am super excited about it. My skin is smoothing out and the marks are starting to really fade. I'm aiming to be one hot nurse mama in 2013! :)

So here is my eating for yesterday. Stayed one below, so still doing well but it was definitely not easy. I also didn't work out yesterday. I just didn't wanna. I'll be making up for it today though...

Mean people suck...

I hate when people don't think before they speak. Ruined my day :'(

Is it May yet?

School is kicking my ass and its only the second day. W.T.F? Nursing school has seriously got to be one of the hardest things to get through. The sheer volume of reading is enough to kick your ass into fetal position. This semester is OB and Peds and I am already about 70 pages behind. I am also fighting my butt off to keep my position here at the hospital.

Anyways, it looks as though Aunt Flo may make an appearance this week. Goody. I have already been dodging delicious goodness all day. This girl at my school made banana strawberry pudding. With extra vanilla wafer... you kidding me? Then I got to work and someone told me about all the free food they have left over because of the conference and for me to help myself. It was such a delicious spread. i literally had to run away.  Nope. I am staying focused. I do not want to emotionally eat away  my stress. I want to look for more healthy alternatives. My legs are SO SORE right now though. My thighs are aching and in a sick sadist way, i love it. I love that my thighs hurt because I've worked them out and the muscle is trying its darndest to grow and my fat is dissolving little by little each day.

Last night I made THE MOST DELICIOUS dinner. Being west indian, I LOVE my curry chicken, but its cooked in oil and has chopped potatoes in it. Welp, I made a skinny version. Instead of using oil, I just sprayed the pot lightly with Smart Balance oil spray. I skimped on the potato and instead went for green, red, and yellow bell peppers, onion, and garlic. then I just tossed drumsticks in, put a cup of low sodium chicken stock, and 1/4 cup of light cocunut milk. I had two drumsticks (with skin) and it was 11 points. Then I had a 1/2 cup of quinoa. Jonathan LOVED it. He scarfed down enough of my portion that I put his ravioli aside and made him his own plate. He loves curry but typically doesn't like peppers. Well I guess with the curry sauce, he didn't mind it.  Very proud of my dish :)

So here is my damage from yesterday. I was under points again. I need to up them back to normal. Today may be that day because I seem to be more hungry than usual.

Nonfat MILF in training

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Second week Weight Watcher weigh in

Sooooo I woke up this morning not feeling all that hot. Looking in the mirror i felt like I lost some weight but really was just feeling bloated and fat. Not knowing when I would weigh in, I just decided to find a place close to school and get it over with. I will say that I refused to eat my breakfast until I weighed in. I know it wasnt going to make much of a different but I wanted to just get the first early morning weight. Well.... I AM DOWN 4.2 LBS!!!! I have a total weight loss now of 11.6 lbs. I am really excited :). It makes me want to just keep going. Even the weight watchers lady was like "WHOA! You hit your first 5% of body weight goal. You lost 7 last week and now 4 this week. I just want to remind you a healthy weekly weight loss is 1-2 lbs a week...." Which of course I know, but I am super proud of how I've been doing. I am documenting everything that I am eating and I am truly eating every 2-3 hours. I am starting to work out more. Last week I did 4 days at 30 mins. So not a large amount of time, but I just told myself whatever little I did at the gym, it was still better than sitting at home doing nothing. So my goal this week is to work out 5 days and one day of doing at home cardio. I am hoping to lose at least 3 lbs this week but really, I would love to see 100s instead of 2. even if it is 199. I want to see it. I want to see the 1s!!!
So anyway, last night I was under in my points. Here is how my day went:

Tonight I am thinking about cooking some healthy curry chicken. Typically you cook it in oil  and add white potatoes but I am making my own skinny version that will be all vegetables, no potatoes, cooked in low sodium chicken broth. I am going to use drumsticks, so I will have dark meat. I am still debating to treat myself with white rice or to stick to the huge load of cauliflower mash I have in the fridge.

Okay, so school started today. In fact, I am in class now. I am OVERWHELMED ALREADY!!!!

Even better...

Decided to try my endurance and see how long I could run. Ran straight for 6 minutes 24 seconds. Granted I was only going 5.0 but I was still proud. I decided to push and I did my mile in a new record on 11 minutes and 59 seconds.  Proud. Of. Me.