Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Just an update


So clearly, my nursing school, work, mommy, wife, and gym schedule has left little time for me to blog but I will do a quick catch up of my life. lol. Thanksgiving, TWO THUMBS UP! Man I love my Mom. It was so awesome heading down to Savannah to spend time with her. Everytime I go, it makes me want to take another trip down as soon as possible. The great part is that in less than a month, she will be up for Christmas and Jonathan will get to have more time with his Gramma. Speaking of my little man Jonathan, he is just awesome. I can't get over how much I love that kid. He is amazing. Honestly and truly, just a complete joy of a son. I love him so much and as he grows, he is just becoming more and more funny and full of life. He definitely has his mommys stubborness, but he is truly a good kid. Truly truly a great kid, and he is my pride and joy. My hubs... just my whole heart. I don't talk about him often because this journal is mostly about me and my weight struggles, but the way that man loves me. You know, I feel bad when people are all like "ooh! Marriage is WORK! It is HARD!" ...because I know it takes works I suppose but... well, ours is just so easy. Now keep in mind we only have been married for 3.5 years so I know we have many many years of trials and tribulations that will test us, but right now, God has been so good to us.I mean, we just love eachother, and that love makes things easy. It just really does. It is so easy to love that man. And he tells me every single day how he feels about me. Every. Single. Day. And as I lose weight and I start loving MYSELF, its easier to love him more. We were just talking about that in the kitchen yesterday. He was talking about how proud he is of me and my weight loss and how I've truly been kicking butt and have this determination. I was telling him how I am working hard to be that hot milf/trophy wife for him and he took my face in his hands and said, "you have ALWAYS been that. I've ALWAYS thought you were the most beautiful woman in this world, so you lose this weight for you. Not me. I love you losing this weight because of how YOU are feeling. The glow and confidence you now have, but other than that, you have always been gorgeous in my eyes." Um already know he got some for that. lol. But I just love him for supporting me and while I still have so much more progress to make, Im working at it.

So speaking of progress, I have no idea what my weight is right now. I weighed tuesday before Thanksgiving and I was still at 188. I won't lie, I was a little pissed but I didn't do the best i could in food or exercise I suppose. I refused to weigh in yesterday because quite frankly, I stuffed my flippin face while down at my moms and just needed a week off. SO since Sunday, I have been in BEAST MODE. Really working hard. It could also have something to do with the fact I went dress shopping for a Christmas Party my friend Danielle and I are going to with our hubbies December 15th (YAY) and I picked out a dress that was TIGGHHTT! Now, I did go up a size to accommodate for my massive boobs, but if I gain weight and the fit is off, I will look less on the classier side. The dress is great though, length is at the knees and its definitely glitzy for the holiday. I just want to look my best in it. Especially since it is my only option dress. I found nothing else I really loved when i went shopping and I just got annoyed. So I am hoping when it comes in this week, it looks as good as I imagined in my head. I REALLY hope so. So the dress will be in today. We shall see if it fits okay!
I have been getting several compliments lately that people are FINALLY noticing I lost weight! I had three compliments this morning alone and several yesterday in class. I will say that I have changed my routine these last two weeks. I had only been running on the treadmill but knowing I need to push and challenge myself for more weight loss, I've finally added weight training to my workout. Shouldve done it a long time ago, but I will admit i was lazy. So anyways, my arms are actually getting smaller and my butt and legs are toning up, although I will say running got my butt back to sitting higher up! My hubs can't keep his hands off of it. I really can't wait be in the 30 lb loss number. I know I am close and that is my goal for this Tuesday. I REALLY would LOVE to see that scale say 184. OH MAN... it makes me salivate just looking at that number. I know it requires me to remain disciplined this week. i KNOW that. I have a weekend full of temptations. I have a favorite things party on friday which I just found out will have delectable pizza and cheesecake bites. Then I have a LONG ASS clinical day on Saturday with my biggest temptation ever... don't laugh but... SALTINE FRICKIN CRACKERS!!! OMMMMGGG!!!!! And these damn saltines are DELICIOUS. I mean, I don't know if they put a little extra salt or what on it but I GO TO TOWN. And it bloats me up and I know it isnt smart, but I just can't help myself sometimes. I get crazy over it... sigh. so yeah, saltines is my nemesis. Anyways, Tuesday is my weigh in. I will post my progress then. Hopefully I will see my 184. that is what I am aiming and working so hard for. thirty lbs... 30. POUNDS...

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Vacation, Hurricane, Weigh In-- OH MY!

Um yeah, I know I have been completely MIA and I feel bad because I am just now trying to catch up with everyone. First of all, my family went to vacation to New York the week of October 23rd. Well, our flight home was suppose to be October 28th, but as you already know, that did NOT happen. We were stuck in New York until Thursday night and didnt get in our beds until 2am on that Friday. Despite my school and work suffering, we truly had a great time and I am grateful we had the opportunity to see everyone. With that being said, I ate like a frickin sumo wrestler! Ooohhhh man, and it was delicious. but by the end of two weeks, the pants I wore on the flight definitely felt a little snugger than normal and the shirt I put on before that looked super flattering, started not to look that great. My cousin had a scale but I was terrified to get on it. I would stare at it literally everyday. It was mocking knew I didn't have the courage to face the truth and it was right. I didn't. When i got back from New York, it was hard to get back in focus with eating. In fact, I resorted back to my "I'll start on Monday" mentality. I ate Pollo Tropical Friday night and pizza on Saturday night. But when Monday came along, I went balls to the wall. I knew I didn't have the courage to weigh in that week. Although I knew that is what I SHOULD do, I know myself. I know my mind. I knew if I saw the truth on that scale, I would feel discouraged. I would feel angry. And I wanted to be motivated. I decided to forego one week and just work my ass off. And work my ass off I did. I ran EVERY. SINGLE.DAY. Two miles, three miles, three and a half miles. I ran until my shin splints screamed and still ran. I went back every single day, even Saturday and Sunday. Despite lack of sleep, despite any other excuse I could think of.I ran and ran and ran. I weighed in today and...not only did I lose the unspecified NY weight, but I lost 1.2 lbs on top of that... I AM IN THE FRICKING 180s!!!! I cant believe I AM IN THE 180s!!!! Oh man, I am so excited. I could jump up and down I am so excited. I want to scream it from the rooftops. I know I still have a long ways to go. I know I can't get comfortable now, especially with Thanksgiving coming up. IN fact, this is the time I need to kick it into high gear in order to make up for the gluttonous feast I plan on partaking in. Also, I have family pictures next week and it would be great to look my absolute best for this! If I could get down to 186, the weight I was when I got married, that would be an accomplishment in my book :). I plan on going to watch Twilight Friday with a friend Friday afternoon and then going out on Friday night so I am going to have to be strong and make some positive choices. I hope I can do it...EEK! Better start researching WW points now... GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE AS THEY CONTINUE ON THEIR JOURNEY!! WE CAN DO THIS!! WE CAN!!