Thursday, July 26, 2012

I am UnbeWEAVEable!!

So tomorrow we head out to our trip to Pigeon Forge and I am definitely looking forward to it. I decided to go ahead and put my extensions in last night! The brand I put in is TRUE GLORY Brazillian Virgin Hair. After three long hours and a 2 AM bedtime, I have long wavy hair that can easily be flat ironed straight. Well, I will admit that two of those hours were also watching So You Think You Can Dance, so I wasn't completely paying attention. But anyways, its fun and new. Nothing like changing it up every once in a while!

This has been a random MOMment of vanity...

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

See ya, wouldn't want to be ya!

So I would first like to preface this post by saying that I am not one who takes horoscopes seriously. They are just usually one of those things that I randomly get on my phone, so I may glance at it, take it with a grain of salt, and keep it moving. Well today, this one hit home and since I don't believe in accidents, but in answered prayers and revelations, it came right on time.
The BIGOT formally known as a friend that I spoke about in my past post apparently deleted me from her Facebook page.  See, I am a person who does not like confrontation, so even though I was thoroughly offended by her audacious post, I decided to ignore her from coming across my timeline feeds.  Therefore, to see that SHE  had the nerve to delete ME, I won't lie, had me a bit pissed  confused. I texted her saying that I noticed she deleted me which I found interesting since her post was incredibly offensive and hateful, but I wish her all the best in life. In her true classless manner, she decided to do what she does best, which is play victim and proceeded to tell me that I attacked her on facebook, that all the fellow bigots agree that I was completely in the wrong, that she has always had my back over the years, and I should thank her for all she has done for me in my life. Is this bitch for real?   Wow.  I also noticed that she clearly filled the ears of a fellow coworker and while I am not surprised because she has the moral fiber of streetwalker, it made me incredibly angry. BUT this is exactly why I wanted her toxic spirit out of my life.  So this morning, my horoscope said:

Its time to move forward. In spite of doubts, you really HAVE collected enough information to make a decision. Make it with confidence. 

It really gave me a triple dose of confirmation that I don't need that and that is not a friend. I decided to dig into the bible for advice on the situation. As I quest to read my bible more, I am doing my best to find my answers there. Two verses rung extremely true:

An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.
 You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols. Of course, your former friends are surprised when you no longer plunge into the flood of wild and destructive things they do. So they slander you.
So that is that.  I realize I never truly had  a friend in this person, and although I feel sad about that, I am grateful for the genuine people in my life. I've come to realize that I rather have a very small group of genuine loving people than a large group of fake people in my life. SOOOO, that will be the last time I dedicate my time and energy towards that person, and anymore space on my blog.
Moving on to the positive- I am SO excited about my family and Danielle's family upcoming mini vacay!! We leave on Friday to go up to Pigeon Forge/Dollywood and I am literally giddy. The condo we are renting truly looks beautiful, Ashish and Danielle are the sweetest/cutest/loving couple, and the boys are literally like the best of friends. When Jonathan and Jordan get together, they laugh and laugh and Jonathan runs and runs, and Jordan is seriously the only little boy that Jonathan shares with.  I can honestly see them growing to be such wonderful friends and that warms my heart. Everyone deserves to have a good, loyal friend that brings out the best in them. It is truly a gift. Also, Jonathan is absolutely LOVING swim lessons!! The moment he wakes up in the morning, its "Mommy, swimming with Jordan and Olivia". Then when I pick him up from school, it is "swim mommy?". The moment I pull in the parking lot, its "YAY! SWIM!!". I am going to be so disappointed when it ends because he loves it so much!! And although he isn't doing the breast stroke or butterfly relay yet, he is truly becoming more comfortable and relaxed in the water. For him to go to the water park this weekend is truly fantastic timing!
So tonight, I will be packing and putting in some fabulous extensions! Will definitely take pictures of it :)

Monday, July 23, 2012

A different kind of Monday

So normally Monday comes around and I look like this:

But nope, not today. Why? Well, for SEVERAL reasons. For one, I had a great Sunday. I really enjoyed going to church with both my friend Danielle and then later with my husband. The message was a good one, one that definitely deserves a deeper level of reflection within myself; a "MOMmentation", as I have dubbed it.
The message spoke about being Faithful: Trusting in the character of God to do what he has promised to do will ultimately catalyze faith.  It was a guest pastor, I believe his name is Dan Ronne. Although he didn't have the polished finesse of PK, what I truly loved about him was his relatability.  He spoke of his journey being a Christian, how sometimes we go to church and have an inadequacy about our Faith. He said he drank, did drugs, was sexually immoral until mid twenties. I related to that because although I never did drugs, my first two years of college were a drunken blur and I would be lying if I said I was a virgin when I married my husband.  Hearing PK and Kevin McQueen talk about both of their relationships being them saving themselves for their wives is so beautiful, but, thats not my story. So I suppose deep down, you always feel a sense of being a slightly tarnished Christian.  While Christ has ALWAYS been in my household, attending church every Sunday and us knowing the Word, I can honestly say that my past actions strayed many times while growing up and even with me talking the talk, I didn't walk it like I should have. I loved that he says that God is still working on him each day (even almost cursing in the middle of his sermon...hilarious). I feel the exact same way about myself. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says " Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, The old is gone, the new has come. All this is from God." I work on trying to make sure my actions are doing a better job of correlating with my words.

So the Pastor spoke of three different catalysts to use while aiming at being more faithful:

Catalyst #1: Fixing a broken mental image of who God is. -- As a Christian, we should aim to a relationship with God, not labeling God as an all vengeful, full of wrath being. In fact, its the opposite. He is loving, he is merciful. Since becoming a parent, I have a better understanding of God's love for me. I am HIS child, and while I disappoint, he doesn't love me less. Just like Jonathan may disappoint me in the future, he will always have my love.

Catalyst #2: People of Faith admonishing you to trust God's character and promises. In this definition, admonish means to advise earnestly. So having people advising you to trust God's character and promises. I love this because it speaks to what Chris and I have been trying to do as of lately as a couple, and what I am learning to do individually. Ive been blessed to have several lifelong friends. Friends such as Tasha, who is always so incredibly uplifting no matter what. I know that in my darkest moments or hour, all I would need to do is make a phone call and she would be there to genuinely pray for me, and to listen. She never judges, no matter how bad the situation I got myself into may be. I aspire to have patience, to have her kindness, to have her nonjudgmental attitude. And most recently, I've decided to push away a person who is just pure toxic. Who has trouble find them wherever they are because they live for everything but God. Being around them makes me not like the person that I tend to be. I talk different, I gossip more, I become so pessimistic about everything. And then of course we have new close friends such as Danielle and her family who I feel like are right on our same plane and place in life in regards to the age of our child, the years of marriage, what we desire spiritually, and at the same time, I hope to gain Danielle's very levelheaded way of thinking and her ability to be strong, yet tactful in her discussions with people. Her sunshine demeanor that makes her very likeable.

Catalyst #3: Living in the light of God's faithfulness leaves a shadow on the next generation. This is one of the most important for me because everything I've been through, I am, and hope to become is for the positive development and betterment of my beautiful little boy and I have an incredible partner in life who feels the same way.

So, that was the service in a nutshell that spoke to me and my family. That evening we went to go visit Chris' Uncle who was diagnosed a year ago with Lou Gehrig's disease. His arm is completely gone already. Seeing his favorite Uncle like that really bummed Chris out, which is completely understandable. I told Chris we need to make sure we spend as much time as we can with his Uncle, going out to dinners and just enjoying our time as a family. Im not sure how much time he has left, but there will be a time when he can't walk as freely and he cant hug Jonathan and I want to get as many pictures as possible being able to do all those things. Chris and I spoke about life last night and what we pray for eachother. It is truly a blessing to have youth and we want to do everything we can to live life to the fullest...

So now on this Monday, I am excited about Jonathan, Jordan, and Olivia taking swim classes! it will be their first class and I may be more excited than they ever will be. I want him to love the water as much as Mommy does. Jonathan had a bit of a cough waking up this morning though so I am hoping he is feeling better. Looks like we will need extra dose of vitamin C tonight and a Vicks rubdown.

This has been a very looonnngggg MOMment of Reflection.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

I don't want my husband to know that...there is someone else...

Soooo, I am keeping a secret from my husband. I know I should feel bad about it, but I don't. In fact, I am relishing in my complete genius of it all. What is it?? Well...there is someone else. Yes... someone else... Who? What? Why? Well...

I hired a housekeeper.

Yes, I hired a housekeeper today. She was a Jamaican woman that I met from  Looking at my house this past week, all the toys that is just EVERYWHERE, the kitchen floor baseboards that looked filthy, the laundry that is LITERALLY a queen sized bed wide, the carpet that has dog hair EVERYWHERE (and my vaccuum has malfunctioned), I just COULD NOT TAKE IT ANYMORE. I needed help. My husband wouldnt have wanted to agree. He loves to spend money on things he feels worth it and I guess he seems to think that I manage just fine. But thing is, I managed doing a half-assed job. Yeah, I can clean the kitchen good enough for the illusion of clean, but I see the baseboards, I see the filthy corners, I see the dog hairs stuck in the rug, I see it ALL. And it drives me insane. So while he is somewhat okay with half ass clean, I wanted a full scale DETAIL. I needed my house detailed from TOP to BOTTOM. And oh man...when I walked in the door, the whiff of bleach and lavender lysol welcomed me. It felt AWESOME. And it looked better than it has looked in such a long time.

So... I am going to continue to see her. At least once a month, of course while my hubby is at work. And I should feel bad about taking all the credit but.... a huge smile on my husbands face when he gets home, a foot massage, wine, and takeout for a hard days work is too awesome to give up :)

This has been a MOMment of Reflection-

Friday, July 20, 2012


That is just how I need to start this blog because the frustration I feel in regards to this week.


Yes, I had to do it again. This week just seemed like a crappy week of Ugh and I am left just feeling rather blah and a slight jiltness that I really hate to feel.  From Monday's unfortunate news about the statue at Penn State staying up, from George Zimmermans interview that really hurt my heart, from the BIGOT "friend" who posted something so offensive in response to George Zimmerman (clearly showing support and probably donated to his get out of jail free fund), to the senseless and horrific deaths of those poor people in Colorado at the hands of a clear psychopath, to my sister who has the tendency of being a complete and utter hypocrite in what she is allowed to say to others (which is usually completely offensive and distasteful) to what people can jokingly say to her, I am at my complete WITS END!!  Now of course I love my baby sister, and she is pregnant and most likely hormonal, but it definitely makes how I'm already feeling worse. To put it mildly, this week has been shitty, and I hate feeling this way because God has truly been too good to me to complain about things outside of my control.  My frustration seriously got so huge, I just deactivated my facebook page. In actuality, I may reactivate it in the next 24-48 hours, but I seriously just had a take a damn break because I am letting the actions of other people affect my mood. Last night, I snapped at my husband so ugly because I was angry about a facebook posting from a bigot, that then resulted in a facebook argument with other bigots. The funny thing is, God was simply just answering a prayer that I've been praying for some time. I've been asking God to bring me closer to the people who are meant to be in my life and who are meant to nourish my morals, values, relationship with Him, and relationship with my family. I also asked God to get out of my life those who are toxic, who substract from my character, morals, and values, and who isn't helping me get closer to Him. Even though God has been whispering to me about several people in-particular, I chose not to listen. He knew my stubborn self had to get angry in order to finally get it. Well, I got it. So I am putting on my big girl panties and taking in some Maya Angelou quotes that speaks to the lessons learned this week and those I need to take with me:

“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

“Courage: the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.” ― Maya Angelou

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” ― Maya Angelou

“I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ―Maya Angelou

Wow, I feel better already.
This has been a MOMment of Reflection. Tomorrow I hope to be back to my regularly scheduled program of OPTIMISM.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Inward Reflection...

I will be the first one to admit... I am a chronic worrier. I am not the kind of person that worries out loud or goes through life being a debbie downer. I instead choose to worry internally. Only my family truly knows the depth of my worrying and I know I get it from my mom. She has chronic worry syndrome as well. When I call her on the phone, I have to be careful about the tone of my voice because if indicates any type of adversity, she is immediately giving me the inquisition about what is wrong, and she can hear something is bothering me. I am 31 years old, and I know that much of my mom's day is spent thinking of me and my sister and praying over us. My son is only two years old and I feel the same way already. I worry about him, I worry about my family. I worry about the future, especially when I see something that is traumatic on TV. Isn't it human to fear the unknown? It is when I get these paralyzing moments of worry that I instantly say a prayer of protection and calm. As I desire to grow more in my spiritual journey, I am making a conscious effort to trust God more. To read more scripture, especially in times of worry. I think having this blog will also help me along the way. I just read the following scripture:
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today."
And it is so true. It made me think that everyone who has passed away unexpectedly, probably had something that they were worrying about having to do the next day...but that day never came. I want to do my best to plan for my future as always, but also live the best life I can with each minute that passes. To not take advantage of time I have with my family. To truly just love life and the days God blesses me with. This task isnt easy, but it is necessary. 
This has been a MOMment of Reflection...

Monday, July 16, 2012

Monday Mommentation

Monday... a new work week when you feel as though everything starts anew.  Its when you pick up the pieces of Friday that led to you succumbing to procrastination. Besides the plague cold that I had on Friday and our AC unit that decided to conk out due to its constant usage, I had a pretty good weekend. I truly enjoyed my ladies night that I had with Danielle and Danielle's sister in law and it was very much needed.

Anyways- Sunday at church really made me very sad. I remember meeting briefly a guy named Glen (Glenroy) Walker, Jr about 6 years ago at a party. Very nice attractive guy and a really sweet spirit.  I even remember last year seeing him and his beautiful family at church. Well there was a testimonial during service and I found out that he passed away in a terrible car crash and it made me so incredibly sad. he has two beautiful little kids who are now without a father and just looking at Jonathan, it just made me pray so hard that my family can overcome that. I want more than anything for my family and those whom I love to be protected and that Jonathan has the beautiful blessing of seeing both Me and Chris together, in love, happy, healthy. I pray for the opportunity to watch him graduate from High School, then college, then med school :) . I so desire to dance with him at his wedding, and have Chris help mold him to be an incredible father and do grandpa things with his children. And then if Chris and I go up to heaven after all of that, then I know we never have a reason to complain. Life s so incredibly precious. Life is such a beautiful gift. Every morning I hear Jonathan's little voice yell out to Mommy... he says "Mommy...where are you? Come here Mommy"...and I always come and his face lights  up. I pray that no time in his childhood he asks "Mommy, where are you" and I never come running. Makes me tear up just thinking about it. Sigh. All you can do is pray... all you can do is pray. There is a prayer trail at my church and prior to school starting, I believe I am going to walk it and pray over my family as I start this new school semester and chapter. I just feel the need to go there and go ahead and slay any weapons that the devil is trying to form against me. I need to get my armor ready.

This has been a MOMment of Reflection-

Friday, July 13, 2012


So woke up today feeling as though I've been run over by a truck. A cold?!  Really!?? And as if that isn't annoying enough, our AC unit went kaput. Sigh. Anyway I am sucking down vitamin C because I am trying to have a fun night with my girl.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Starting over

So I have decided to start over my blog and I will do my best to make sure that I am updating a little more than I have been recently. I am really new to this whole thing and I am little unsure of how this even works, but I suppose I need to see this blog as something more for me instead of something for social networking value. After all, I have facebook for that :)

We are more than halfway into 2012 and I am happy with the way things are going thus far. I've been blessed with an incredibly job here at Northside and I am grateful for the opportunity and doors I may have opened for me in the not so distant future. I am grateful for my incredible family. Jonathan is growing like a little weed and is just so adorable, kind, friendly, loving, and gregarious. He has a zest for life and an innocence I just want to do everything in my power to protect. My husband is beyond amazing and he truly loves me unconditionally which is so beautiful.  I have friendships this year that have truly blossomed like a tree.  I've known a recent friend Danielle for years, however this past year, we have truly made the effort to know each other more than just an acquaintance level and I am so grateful for that friendship. I am hoping to keep nourishing and investing in it because I can see that she and her beautiful family will be such a priceless value to our life. Just the friendship between our sons have enriched Jonathan so much and watching them play together puts such a smile on my face every single day. There are also some people that were friends from afar that I've had to put in the acquaintance category. The way they live their life and the values they impose on their child isn't something that I want in my family. They live in a world of materialism and while we all know having money is a great thing, it isn't the only thing. I know that even I can get mixed up in more, more, more which is why I appreciate my church, family, and friends that ground me back to the foundation.

My hopes for this blog is use it as a forum to help me grow as a person in all aspects. To help be that place I vent to when I know I am being unreasonable but just need to say it out loud, and also to grow me spiritually which is honestly something that I've been wanting for a very long time. I make some strong steps forward, but at the same time, feel as though I make some steps backward. By reflecting each day or a few times a week, I am hoping this will order my steps in His Word.

Until next time, this has been a MOMment of reflection