Friday, December 21, 2012
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
So I had my weigh in today. I took off last week because the week before was Thanksgiving and I was just enjoying stuffing my face in Savannah a little too much. So, I got back on track, weighed in and... I am at 184.6. I have lost EXACTLY 30 lbs today. Wow. Im proud of myself. I just can't believe I've made it this far. Ive NEVER made it this far. I've started and stopped diets for literally over ten years. I've never been able to truly be successful. And Im doing it right now. I am not sure what is different this time around, I am not sure if I just stopped with the excuses and embraced that this journey will be hard. I take my current success hugely due to weight watchers. I've shared this before I believe, but when I was in high school, I had an eating disorder. Eating disorders run in my family due to the negative body image that many of the women in my family instilled. My grandmother would call someone fat in 2.2 seconds. She did it to my mom for years and she grew up with bouts of not eating. My sister was bulimic. My cousin who was a tennis star in Guyana and earned a scholarship to Georgia State was also a full blown bulimic. I personally suffered from Anorexia and would try and eat below 300 calories a day. I counted calories psychotically my senior year of high school, pretty much until my second year in college. I am definitely removed from that former life, however, I do my best to stay mentally healthy now while I go on this journey of weight loss. I love weight watchers because I get away from the trigger of counting calories. I get to count points. And points are so much friendlier than calories in my opinion :). I also do not keep a scale in my home. I purposely chose to go elsewhere to weigh. I use to weigh in the mornings, after having a laxative, after running 5 miles, after dinner. Just constantly weighing! I don't want to go back to that. I don't want my home to be a torturous weight place. And lastly I don't weigh in if I don't feel comfortable doing so. Despite being away from the eating disordered world, the mentality can linger a little bit. If I gain a week, I feel REALLY bummed. I don't stop eating like I did before, but I just feel really down on myself. My emotions can be linked to the number on the scale and I know that. And the guilt and the replaying what I did wrong that week, goes on in my head. I didn't weigh in on Thanksgiving because I REALLY enjoyed my time with my mom that week. I enjoyed eating french toast, biscuits, sausage, eggs, and hashbrowns for breakfast. I loved eating a massive slice of sweet potato pecan pie with ice cream on top with my mom after dinner. I loved fixing my plate with whatever I wanted. And I didn't want to weigh and regret any decision or part of the week that was so beautiful. I wont let myself get to that place. I just got back on the wagon and kept moving. And it paid off. My next big event is a Christmas party December 15 with my hubby and friend Danielle. And my hubby and I are taking it as a staycation opportunity. We will wake up the next day and eat a delicious gluttonous breakfast. And I will enjoy every moment :). Will I weigh in the next Tuesday... ehh, maybe, maybe not. But Im not going to stress about it. I am going to enjoy life. I want to enjoy every moment of this beautiful blessed life. Until the 15th, i will be working hard in the gym. Working hard so i can play hard. My goal for the party is 182 lbs. I think I am going to reach my goal :). I can't believe I am 4.6 lbs away from the 70s. WOW. 179 is my goal for New Years Eve. LETS GET IT!!!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
So clearly, my nursing school, work, mommy, wife, and gym schedule has left little time for me to blog but I will do a quick catch up of my life. lol. Thanksgiving, TWO THUMBS UP! Man I love my Mom. It was so awesome heading down to Savannah to spend time with her. Everytime I go, it makes me want to take another trip down as soon as possible. The great part is that in less than a month, she will be up for Christmas and Jonathan will get to have more time with his Gramma. Speaking of my little man Jonathan, he is just awesome. I can't get over how much I love that kid. He is amazing. Honestly and truly, just a complete joy of a son. I love him so much and as he grows, he is just becoming more and more funny and full of life. He definitely has his mommys stubborness, but he is truly a good kid. Truly truly a great kid, and he is my pride and joy. My hubs... just my whole heart. I don't talk about him often because this journal is mostly about me and my weight struggles, but the way that man loves me. You know, I feel bad when people are all like "ooh! Marriage is WORK! It is HARD!" ...because I know it takes works I suppose but... well, ours is just so easy. Now keep in mind we only have been married for 3.5 years so I know we have many many years of trials and tribulations that will test us, but right now, God has been so good to us.I mean, we just love eachother, and that love makes things easy. It just really does. It is so easy to love that man. And he tells me every single day how he feels about me. Every. Single. Day. And as I lose weight and I start loving MYSELF, its easier to love him more. We were just talking about that in the kitchen yesterday. He was talking about how proud he is of me and my weight loss and how I've truly been kicking butt and have this determination. I was telling him how I am working hard to be that hot milf/trophy wife for him and he took my face in his hands and said, "you have ALWAYS been that. I've ALWAYS thought you were the most beautiful woman in this world, so you lose this weight for you. Not me. I love you losing this weight because of how YOU are feeling. The glow and confidence you now have, but other than that, you have always been gorgeous in my eyes." Um yea...you already know he got some for that. lol. But I just love him for supporting me and while I still have so much more progress to make, Im working at it.
So speaking of progress, I have no idea what my weight is right now. I weighed tuesday before Thanksgiving and I was still at 188. I won't lie, I was a little pissed but I didn't do the best i could in food or exercise I suppose. I refused to weigh in yesterday because quite frankly, I stuffed my flippin face while down at my moms and just needed a week off. SO since Sunday, I have been in BEAST MODE. Really working hard. It could also have something to do with the fact I went dress shopping for a Christmas Party my friend Danielle and I are going to with our hubbies December 15th (YAY) and I picked out a dress that was TIGGHHTT! Now, I did go up a size to accommodate for my massive boobs, but if I gain weight and the fit is off, I will look less on the classier side. The dress is great though, length is at the knees and its definitely glitzy for the holiday. I just want to look my best in it. Especially since it is my only option dress. I found nothing else I really loved when i went shopping and I just got annoyed. So I am hoping when it comes in this week, it looks as good as I imagined in my head. I REALLY hope so. So the dress will be in today. We shall see if it fits okay!
I have been getting several compliments lately that people are FINALLY noticing I lost weight! I had three compliments this morning alone and several yesterday in class. I will say that I have changed my routine these last two weeks. I had only been running on the treadmill but knowing I need to push and challenge myself for more weight loss, I've finally added weight training to my workout. Shouldve done it a long time ago, but I will admit i was lazy. So anyways, my arms are actually getting smaller and my butt and legs are toning up, although I will say running got my butt back to sitting higher up! My hubs can't keep his hands off of it. I really can't wait be in the 30 lb loss number. I know I am close and that is my goal for this Tuesday. I REALLY would LOVE to see that scale say 184. OH MAN... it makes me salivate just looking at that number. I know it requires me to remain disciplined this week. i KNOW that. I have a weekend full of temptations. I have a favorite things party on friday which I just found out will have delectable pizza and cheesecake bites. Then I have a LONG ASS clinical day on Saturday with my biggest temptation ever... don't laugh but... SALTINE FRICKIN CRACKERS!!! OMMMMGGG!!!!! And these damn saltines are DELICIOUS. I mean, I don't know if they put a little extra salt or what on it but I GO TO TOWN. And it bloats me up and I know it isnt smart, but I just can't help myself sometimes. I get crazy over it... sigh. so yeah, saltines is my nemesis. Anyways, Tuesday is my weigh in. I will post my progress then. Hopefully I will see my 184. that is what I am aiming and working so hard for. thirty lbs... 30. POUNDS...
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
Survived a day of Bagel temptation today. Someone brought Einstein bagels and cream cheese to the nursing station. I swear, before my diet, I've never had so much opportunity for free food. Now that I am restricting EVERYONE in my universe is more than generous fatty yumminess. Working on the floor so early truly makes you hungry. I brought an extr snack and made it until lunch. Yesterday I did pretty well. I made a chicken fried quinoa. It was alright, I did my own recipe and so next time I will follow the one on Skinnytaste. But it was low in points and filling. I'm extremely nervous about weigh in tomorrow. I'm debating whether or not to even go. I haven't worked out since Friday and last week I only did three weeks. I usually do low carb dinners at least twice a week, not this week. And I definitely took in more calories as a whole. The math just isn't looking well for my side and I'm very nervous. If I am in the 200s I will be extremely disappointed in myself. Guess we will see, wont we...
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Anyways, I have so much studying to do tonight its ridiculous. Like seriously ridiculous. I am praying I can pull this test off tomorrow. Sigh. MAKE HEALTHY CHOICES EVERYONE! I know the weekend is the time that its sooo easy to falter, but don't let yourself. Keep your eyes on the prize :)
Friday, September 7, 2012
Anyways, yesterday, even with the rice cake binge, I was two points under. I ended up having a SmartOnes for dinner again too, SO I am probably retaining and insane amount of water right now. I need to get some of that natural tea I spoke about in the previous post to help alleviate that. I am going to work out today before studying and be as productive as possible. Here is my food journal:
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Just had to vent.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Anyways, my mom just left after a 3 night visit. I loved having her over and Jonathan just absolutely loved having his grandmother at the house. It truly makes me wish she lived closer. I miss her so much. I can't wait for the holidays when I can see her again! I am so grateful to have her in my life and Jonathan is beyond blessed to have her as a "Grammaw". I wish I could win the lotto and just spoil my parents to pieces. They are just selfless and I love them so much. Hubby, My mom, Jonathan, and I went over to Danielle's yesterday as a labor day potluck and we had SO MUCH FUN! Everyone just talked and talked and talked and I can't wait for Chris and I can take Danielle's family down to Savannah for a long weekend sometime soon. With everyone's schedule, its so crazy getting the time but we will make it happen.
Anyways, here is my eating yesterday. I was very under in points because I saved my appetitie for dinner just in case and ended up doing great. I will do better this week.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Saturday, September 1, 2012
I HIT MY GOAL OF 11 MINUTE MILE! Not only did I hit it, but I BEAT IT BY 7 SECONDS!! WHOOT WHOOT!!! I may have finished looking like this:
Friday, August 31, 2012
Yesterday I was really under points. Didnt even realize I was that below to tell you the truth. Ah well, I am making up for it today. ME HUNGRY!
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
And I just want to say if I was a toddler I would look like this right now:
Anyways, the department at the hospital I work at is taking everyone out to lunch... at Maggiano's. So you need to know that there are two types of food that rock my face off and probably responsible for at least one of my chins... Mexican and Italian. So when I found out that this is where we were going... um yah, minor freak out. I then calmed down and said, "I will just do as they suggested at the meetings. Look up what I am going to order and not even look at a menu" I put Maggiano's in the WW tracker and OMG... things as high as 70 points came slapping me in the face. Everything was SUPER high. Even the tossed salad is 6 points... HUH? I almost was going to fake an illness but then I remembered I had an emergency SMART ONES lunch in the company refrigerator. So at 10:35 am, I am eating my lunch. Then when I go to Maggianos, I plan on only getting a salad or perhaps some grilled asparagus. I will be satisfied so no need to over indulge. Now in theory this should work, and hopefully I will be able to come back and report that I did just that but I am proud of myself for being smart and foreseeing a potential diet deterrent. I am really invested in this healthier lifestyle and want to be successful. So there you have it! Me making strides :)
Yesterday went well like I touched on in my final blog yesterday. My dinner was flipping delicious! Man oh Man. I can't even lie, if I knew eating healthy was this good, I would have done it a long time ago. The asparagus I made tasted YUMMMO! I just sprayed it with some Smart balance oil spray (like PAM but made by SMART BALANCE and has Omega 3s) and sprinkled some kosher salt. I popped it in the oven for about 6 minutes and it tasted PERFECT. Oh man so good. The fish I bought was delicious too. I always get my seafood from Publix because its so fresh there. Literally got 2 lbs of salmon and even Jonathan ate it. I measured out 4 oz and ate that but when I looked on weightwatchers later, I realize I could actually have 6 oz of salmon for a serving, so I will getting me a bigger portion tonight. I went to sleep very satisfied though. I am surprised I was as under in points as I was yesterday but I know that my body got some good nourishment. Here is my day yesterday! Good choices to all... oh! And Congratulations to my weight loss buddy Danielle,who lost 2.8 POUNDS this week! GET IT GIRL!!!!!
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Had a GREAT workout with my girl Danielle tonight! Whew, it is so much better working out with a friend. Didnt beat any personal mile records but I know I was close. If sweat is fat crying then my fat was BAWLING. Lol. Even did a one minute plank.
Dinner for tonight. 4 oz of baked salmon topped with italian breadcrumbs. 1/4 cup of quinoa and alot of asparagus. Not only healthy but it was DELISH!
I am down 2.4 pounds. This makes a total of 14 pounds. I should be excited but...
I am mad.
Yes I said it. I KNOW I am being unrealistic. I KNOW that I should be grateful for every single pound that is shed from my rotund body but... I wanted to see a much better number. I wanted so badly to finally see a 1 in front of my weight. But nope. I was mocked at 200.6. This is after me busting my ass at the gym last night. I lazily wanted to stay home and watch bachelor pad as it aired but I got my big butt up and went to the gym. i did 2.25 miles last night. No records, I finished my first mile in 11:14 seconds, so worse than my personal best but I kept going. I was DRENCHED with sweat and so proud of myself. Felt amazing. But it still wasn't enough to move that scale number under that 200. I am changing it up now. I am entering week 4 and I need to be focused. I really need to keep my cardio in check but I desperately need to up my protein. I noticed my protein levels are very low and so I going to increase that big time. Completely revamping my menu. Only thing that will be consistent is the smart ones for lunch. I think I will start making spinach, chicken, cheese omelets in the morning. Then incorporate a protein shake in my diet post workout. I am going all in this week. Its bullshit. I know I know, slow and steady does win the race but I want to help my body lose the best way it can. If i am being deficient in protein right now, I need to change that. Our bodies are well oiled machines. I haven't cheated ONCE this week. I know I am capable of healthily doing three pounds. I know I am more than capable, especially for the amount of weight I have on my body, i can be fairly steady. I have a lot of it. So I am CHALLENGING myself this week. It will be hard considering my Mommy will be coming in from out of town this week but I am going to cook some healthy items for her as well to enjoy and I know she will very much be on board. So thats the plan. I guess we will see if it worked by next weigh in. I'm excited and nervously challenged by this. My current diet has been so easy to maintain thus far. Ive been eating pretty much the same thing but its time to change it up a little bit.
Ahhhh. okay my vent is over. And now that I sit here for a few minutes, you know what, I'm happy I'm down and I am currently minus 14 pounds! And I am 4 lbs away from the most weight I've ever lost before. For my wedding, I lost about 18 lbs. Thats the most weight ever and I had a personal trainer. I will be STOKED to reach that weight loss pounds again :)
Here is my day yesterday:
Monday, August 27, 2012
So I am feeling a little blah today. I am unsure if my efforts this week will be enough to see the scale move. I will be going to the gym today and will try my best to work it out but I am nervous about what the scale will end up saying. Oh well... I can only do the best I can do, right? As much as I would love to see a 1 in front of my weight loss, as long as its down, I'll be happy. Hey, I'll even settle for just 200.... oh man though, I really want to see that one though. 199.... even just 199....
So as I spoke about before, I have been taking only natural supplements. Throughout my 20s, I have filled by body with every type of diet pill. I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to feel my heart pound out my chest when I am simply sitting in a chair. I want to do things that will HELP my system. So I have been taking Flucoxanthin and Green Coffee Extract for about 2 weeks, as mentioned and recommended by Dr. Oz. I am thinking of also buying this:
Dandelion root tea has shown "choleretic" effects, which means that it can stimulate the liver to increase bile flow. Once bile is released by the liver, its two main functions are to carry away waste and to break down fats during digestion. So overall, it helps promote healthy function of two extremely important organs of the body (liver and kidneys) and also help remove wastes. I am excited to add this to my healthy repertoire.
So here is my food intake for yesterday. I was really below yesterday but that is mostly because I was helping a friend and realized I missed a snack at 2 pm. Hope everyone makes good choices today!!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
|ignore the crying toddler in the background...|
Anyways, had a great time with friends. Here is my favorite man in all the land:
Such a fun time!!!
Went out for hibachi last night because I did not feel like cooking and Chris loves some good hibachi. Also, I can have a huge amount of delicious sushi for a fraction of points! I left complete full and it was awesome. Jonathan however will not be going to anymore hibachi restaurants. He screams bloody murder at the fire and we always have to leave the table. At least I dn't have to worry about him playing with matches anytime soon.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
So I was finishing my tracking for yesterday and apparently I went WAY under points. Totally not on purpose. I made a delicious Bolognese sauce, which I took from Skinnytaste.com (as usual). I made a few modifications to it, for example, i do not like any kind of bacon or anything that tastes remotely like bacon, so I skimped out on the pancetta. i also used ground turkey instead of lean ground beef, and I used a few more veggies, for example adding yellow, green, and red bellpeppers and mushrooms ( I LOVE MUSHROOMS!). See all ingredients below:
Skinny Bolognese Sauce
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Anyways, it looks as though Aunt Flo may make an appearance this week. Goody. I have already been dodging delicious goodness all day. This girl at my school made banana strawberry pudding. With extra vanilla wafer... you kidding me? Then I got to work and someone told me about all the free food they have left over because of the conference and for me to help myself. It was such a delicious spread. i literally had to run away. Nope. I am staying focused. I do not want to emotionally eat away my stress. I want to look for more healthy alternatives. My legs are SO SORE right now though. My thighs are aching and in a sick sadist way, i love it. I love that my thighs hurt because I've worked them out and the muscle is trying its darndest to grow and my fat is dissolving little by little each day.
Last night I made THE MOST DELICIOUS dinner. Being west indian, I LOVE my curry chicken, but its cooked in oil and has chopped potatoes in it. Welp, I made a skinny version. Instead of using oil, I just sprayed the pot lightly with Smart Balance oil spray. I skimped on the potato and instead went for green, red, and yellow bell peppers, onion, and garlic. then I just tossed drumsticks in, put a cup of low sodium chicken stock, and 1/4 cup of light cocunut milk. I had two drumsticks (with skin) and it was 11 points. Then I had a 1/2 cup of quinoa. Jonathan LOVED it. He scarfed down enough of my portion that I put his ravioli aside and made him his own plate. He loves curry but typically doesn't like peppers. Well I guess with the curry sauce, he didn't mind it. Very proud of my dish :)
So here is my damage from yesterday. I was under points again. I need to up them back to normal. Today may be that day because I seem to be more hungry than usual.