Thursday, September 20, 2012

Um...Hi... I'm back :)

Soooo its been a long time since my last breakdown post from the day I went AWOL because I gained one pound for the week. Since then I have been downing about a bag of cough drops every other day, drinking Nyquil by the bottle, and not working out at all. I was SICK! I mean run me over, I may have pneumonia SICK! And honestly I do feel as though I had either walking pneumonia or a bronchitis because that cough was just ridiculous. But I was too stressed and busy to go to the damn doctor and too behind work to take off. So I went, despite people looking at me like I had the plague. But like I said, I didn't work out. Honestly, I dind't work out for almost two weeks. yes, that bad and that sad. And it wasn't just because I was sick, I was just tired. and overwhelmed. And I hated I started to get psycho with my weight loss again. I hated that I hated myself for gaining that one pound. Not hated, but was very disappointed. So I took a break. No, I didn't eat whatever I wanted, for the most part kept it healthy except for one eff it moment I had at the county fair last Sunday. Yeah. bad. BUT that was my only REAL slip up. I stayed pretty much on my diet, just not as disciplined as before. I had *gasp* white rice for dinner more than once. In fact, I'm having it again tonight with baked chicken and spinach. And yes, i am measuring my portion out to ensure I am having a serving. But I am living a little. And truth is, I feel like I'm actually a bit smaller. Now, I don't KNOW because I refused to weigh in this week. Nervous of what the scale said, i just didn't do it. The fact was, i started to FEEL better. I started to think I actually LOOKED better, and I even thought some of my clothes were ACTUALLY  LOOSER than before. And I didn't want the scale to dictate what I felt about myself this week. Yes, I will weigh in next Wednesday, but this week, i was feeling GOOD about myself. Really liking how I was looking. And feeling more confident. But that isn't an excuse to get lazy and today I went for a great workout with my partner in crime Danielle. I love how we motivate eachother to be our best. We did 2.25 miles and it felt great. It was horrific but great. I cursed several times along the course, but I felt proud to get back out there again. I will be back on the weight loss wagon. I hope my couple weeks off didn't cause too much damage. If I see a 2 in front of that scale, I will be devastated. But today I am happy with me. I am happy that I went to target today and got Medium workout pants. Of course they are workout pants so they have stretch but still, they are super comfortable and I love that little M. My top is an XL but hey, we are working on that :). I have so much catching up to do blog-wise. Sorry I went AWOL and totally abandoned my weightloss blogger friends. But Im back. And Im ready :)