Friday, August 31, 2012

Trucking along...

This will be short because my laptop battery is about to go dead and I am too lazy to get the charger. ITs been THAT kind of day. Im just so tired. My mom was suppose to come into town today but just like a typical West Indian/Caribbean, she is late and will come tomorrow. I have my first exam for nursing school tomorrow. Am I ready. Hell no. And I have so much studying to do tomorrow that I have a headache just thinking of it. And its 10 pm and I have yet to eat dinner. But please believe I am going to eat tonight. Dinner is almost ready and I am starving. I've literally been cleaning my house for about 5  hours and its still not done. I've neglected many different parts, I can't even lie. The common areas are spotless but if you venture upstairs, you will see my secrets. I had clothes EVERYWHERE. then Jonathan, my dear sweet boy was replaced by a mini monster from the underground, whose sole purpose was to drive me crazy in a Walmart. I know he was simply exhausted so of course I kept myself together but it wasn't easy.

Yesterday I was really under points. Didnt even realize I was that below to tell you the truth. Ah well, I am making up for it today. ME HUNGRY!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

No shortcuts.

Every bead of sweat gets me one step closer to my goal! 

Everything worth it takes work to get.


A new day...

So... all that game I was talking yesterday about working out and eating within my points for dinner. FAIL. Totally didn't do either. I was hungry and I have to admit I had the "I DONT CARE" attitude yesterday. I just wanted to eat the salmon that I had prepared the night before and I wanted to eat my quinoa, and I just did not care. Maggianos did me in yesterday and I would be lying if I said I wasn't pissed about it. It wasn't worth me going at all and I didn't even want to go at the end. Next time, I will just say no and leave it at that. Anyways, here is my day from yesterday. I just realized I forgot to add the asparagus I ate that night as well, but asparagus has no points. Ahh well. I have to just think of this as my new mentality. this is a lifestyle change. I may have good days, I will have some less than good days, and I will have some outright shitty days. I just have to start the next day as a new one and keep on going.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Damn Maggianos

So my plan derailed. After eating my side salad, my boss made a comment about me not eating and literally handed me the chicken piccata and told me to have "a little". Being that I want to make a good impression and not insult the hand that is feeding me, I took about 2.5 oz of the chicken piccata and some of the sauteed spinach. the damage. 15 points. Are you kidding me. UGH. I couldve used those 15 points for something soooo much more worth it. Like seriously. So my dinner may be very scarce today. Lean meat and veggie. Sooo not trying to go over. I really wanted that yummy salmon and quinoa. Damn Maggianos.Welp, at least I didn't partake in ANY of the spinach artichoke dip that looked AMAZING, the bruschetta, the warm looking rolls with butter, the creamy alfredoey pasta with chicken and mushrooms, or the Massive tiramisu they put in front of my face. I was beyond strong. So yay for staying smart while there. My waistline will thank my dedication.

And I just want to say if I was a toddler I would look like this right now:

I ABSOLUTELY do not want to go to the gym today. In fact I may do this at the gym doors:
My legs are actually a little sore from our workout yesterday but really, I just feel lazy. Like absolutely, positively, sloth mode. I just want to not do anything. Ugh. But I will go... Im not going to promise to be a rockstar, but I will go. Even if I do a little bit. Because a little is better than nothing...
Thinking about going to the gym burns 0 calories and 0 grams of fat.

Le sigh...


Exercise induced Rhinitis/Allergies...ain't that some fat girl sh#@!

Sooooooo, apparently I have exercise induced allergies. No, Im not making this stuff up people. If that isn't some fat girl shit, i don't know what is! LOL. I've noticed when I do rigorous running on the treadmill, as soon as I am done, my nose starts to run, I start sneezing, I start coughing. I mean, it is really odd. It happens more often than none so it made me look it up online. Well sure enough, its a real issue. My body responds to vigorous exercise by releasing histamine...for you non science nerds, histamine is a chemical your body releases when you are having an allergic reaction. Mine is tolerable, and yes, I am joking when I say its a fat girl problem. Many athletes actually have it.Iits just my body responding to physical stress, and its just a nuisance more than anything else. It isn't contagious and I'm not "allergic" to exercise. I took a benedryl (antihistamine) last night just because I was sneezing all over my  book but I won't need to be treated. I will just let it be :)

Anyways, the department at the hospital I work at is taking everyone out to lunch... at Maggiano's. So you need to know that there are two types of food that rock my face off and probably responsible for at least one of my chins... Mexican and Italian. So when I found out that this is where we were going... um yah, minor freak out. I then calmed down and said, "I will just do as they suggested at the meetings. Look up what I am going to order and not even look at a menu" I put Maggiano's in the WW tracker and OMG... things as high as 70 points came slapping me in the face. Everything was SUPER high. Even the tossed salad is 6 points... HUH? I almost was going to fake an illness but then I remembered I had an emergency SMART ONES lunch in the company refrigerator. So at 10:35 am, I am eating my lunch. Then when I go to Maggianos, I plan on only getting a salad or perhaps some grilled asparagus. I will be satisfied so no need to over indulge. Now in theory this should work, and hopefully I will be able to come back and report that I did just that but I am proud of myself for being smart and foreseeing a potential diet deterrent. I am really invested in this healthier lifestyle and want to be successful. So there you have it! Me making strides :)

Yesterday went well like I touched on in my final blog yesterday. My dinner was flipping delicious! Man oh Man. I can't even lie, if I knew eating healthy was this good, I would have done it a long time ago. The asparagus I made tasted YUMMMO! I just sprayed it with some Smart balance oil spray (like PAM but made by SMART BALANCE and has Omega 3s) and sprinkled some kosher salt. I popped it in the oven for about 6 minutes and it tasted PERFECT. Oh man so good. The fish I bought was delicious too. I always get my seafood from Publix because its so fresh there. Literally got 2 lbs of salmon and even Jonathan ate it. I measured out 4 oz and ate that but when I looked on weightwatchers later, I realize I could actually have 6 oz of salmon for a serving, so I will getting me a bigger portion tonight. I went to sleep very satisfied though. I am surprised I was as under in points as I was yesterday but I know that my body got some good nourishment. Here is my day yesterday! Good choices to all... oh! And Congratulations to my weight loss buddy Danielle,who lost 2.8 POUNDS this week! GET IT GIRL!!!!!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Salmon~ its whats for dinner.

Had a GREAT workout with my girl Danielle tonight! Whew, it is so much better working out with a friend. Didnt beat any personal mile records but  I know I was close. If sweat is fat crying then my fat was BAWLING. Lol. Even did a one minute plank.

Dinner for tonight. 4 oz of baked salmon topped with italian breadcrumbs. 1/4 cup of quinoa and alot of asparagus.  Not only healthy but it was DELISH!


Week three weigh in results

So after starving myself all morning refusing to eat until I weighed in for the week, I got my result...
I am down 2.4 pounds. This makes a total of 14 pounds. I should be excited but...

I am mad.

Yes I said it. I KNOW I am being unrealistic. I KNOW that I should be grateful for every single pound that is shed from my rotund body but... I wanted to see a much better number. I wanted so badly to finally see a 1 in front of my weight. But nope. I was mocked at 200.6. This is after me busting my ass at the gym last night. I lazily wanted to stay home and watch bachelor pad as it aired but I got my big butt up and went to the gym. i did 2.25 miles last night. No records, I finished my first mile in 11:14 seconds, so worse than my personal best but I kept going. I was DRENCHED with sweat and so proud of myself. Felt amazing. But it still wasn't enough to move that scale number under that 200. I am changing it up now. I am entering week 4 and I need to be focused. I really need to keep my cardio in check but I desperately need to up my protein. I noticed my protein levels are very low and so I going to increase that big time. Completely revamping my menu. Only thing that will be consistent is the smart ones for lunch. I think I will start making spinach, chicken, cheese omelets in the morning. Then incorporate a protein shake in my diet post workout. I am going all in this week. Its bullshit. I know I know, slow and steady does win the race but I want to help my body lose the best way it can. If i am being deficient in protein right now, I need to change that. Our bodies are well oiled machines. I haven't cheated ONCE this week. I know I am capable of healthily doing three pounds. I know I am more than capable, especially  for the amount of weight I have on my body, i can be fairly steady. I have a lot of it. So I am CHALLENGING myself this week. It will be hard considering my Mommy will be coming in from out of town this week but I am going to cook some healthy items for her as well to enjoy and I know she will very much be on board. So thats the plan. I guess we will see if it worked by next weigh in. I'm excited and nervously challenged by this. My current diet has been so easy to maintain thus far. Ive been eating pretty much the same thing but its time to change it up a little bit.

Ahhhh. okay my vent is over. And now that I sit here for a few minutes, you know what, I'm happy I'm down and I am currently minus 14 pounds! And I am 4 lbs away from the most weight I've ever lost before. For my wedding, I lost about 18 lbs. Thats the most weight ever and I had a personal trainer. I will be STOKED to reach that weight loss pounds again :)
Here is my day yesterday:



Monday, August 27, 2012

Everyday I'm a hustlin'

So its Monday. A long week ahead of me including an exam and several assignments that will be due. Ugh... Anyways, Jonathan started at his new school today. Of course I was nervous like any mom...will he feel nervous? Will the kids be nice to him? Will he make friends like he did at his other school? Well he walked in like the champ that he is and the other kids came up to him and said "HI!". I wish people acted towards other people the way kids do. They don't see big or small, fat or skinny, black or white. They just see a kid. And they want to know them and be their friend. My baby boy waved at me and said "bye mommy!" and it truly eased my heart. I hope he has the best day. Can't help but think about him. i love that kid.

So I am feeling a little blah today. I am unsure if my efforts this week will be enough to see the scale move.  I will be going to the gym today and will try my best to work it out but I am nervous about what the scale will end up saying. Oh well... I can only do the best I can do, right? As much as I would love to see a 1 in front of my weight loss, as long as its down, I'll be happy. Hey, I'll even settle for just 200.... oh man though, I really want to see that one though. 199.... even just 199....

So as I spoke about before, I have been taking only natural supplements. Throughout my 20s, I have filled by body with every type of diet pill. I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to feel my heart pound out my chest when I am simply sitting in a chair. I want to do things that will HELP my system. So I have been taking Flucoxanthin and Green Coffee Extract for about 2 weeks, as mentioned and recommended by Dr. Oz.  I am thinking of also buying this:
Dandelion root tea has shown "choleretic" effects, which means that it can stimulate the liver to increase bile flow. Once bile is released by the liver, its two main functions are to carry away waste and to break down fats during digestion. So overall, it helps promote healthy function of two extremely important organs of the body (liver and kidneys) and also help remove wastes. I am excited to add this to my healthy repertoire.


So here is my food intake for yesterday. I was really below yesterday but that is mostly because I was helping a friend and realized I missed a snack at 2 pm. Hope everyone makes good choices today!!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Danielle's beach sexy hair

So my beautiful friend Danielle wanted to do something a little different with her look, especially since we have been both on a journey for fitness and health lately. From  the Bonqueshas to the Kim Kardiashians and Jessica Simpsons, the ladies of the world have been obsessed with HAIR (and as you already know from my Unbeweavable post, i am a fan), so I offered to put in some hair extensions.  Well I did it for her today and I may be biased, but I think she looks AMAZING! Here are some pictures of my sexy friend! YOU GO GIRL!

Here are a couple of BEFORE pictures:

And here is my sexy hot friend with a little something extra... AFTER:

ignore the crying toddler in the background...



I know I am biased but she looks sooooo fricking cute!

Focused

So I stayed 100% focused during the party yesterday. Truth is, I didn't have much of a desire to even eat badly. Well okay, the macaroni and cheese almost did me in, BUT I stayed very focused with my eye on the prize! I also got my first weight loss compliment from someone that I didn't tell I was trying to lose weight. Terrance mom said "Jennifer... have you lost weight? You are looking good! I can tell." And that made me beam of course. Looking down at myself, I really dont see it but the fact someone took notice (and way before the 20 pound mark that it is said when people notice weight loss on you) makes me super happy.

Anyways, had  a great time with friends. Here is my favorite man in all the land:
And here is my Goddaughter Madison-
Jonathan's best friend Jordan:
And last but not least: THE BIRTHDAY TWINS!


Such a fun time!!!

Went out for hibachi last night because I did not feel like cooking and Chris loves some good hibachi. Also, I can have a huge amount of delicious sushi for a fraction of points! I left complete full and it was awesome. Jonathan however will not be going to anymore hibachi restaurants. He screams bloody murder at the fire and we always have to leave the table. At least I dn't have to worry about him playing with matches anytime soon.




Saturday, August 25, 2012

11 minutes and 16 second mile today

1.54 miles in 18:17 and cool down to 1.6 miles (19 minutes 47 seconds)

No core today because it took 17 minutes to get my lazy ass to walk in the gym.


Getting into my groove

Gotta make this post short because I have a toddler ready to dip out of here. We have a busy day since its the twins birthday today and I am trying to get work and a workout in today. 

Yesterday eating went well. I think I am coming slightly obsessed because I am starting to dream about food. Last night I dreamed I was eating at a buffet. Literally shoving food in my mouth and thinking "oh no! I wonder how many points I am consuming now!!". Uh, yah... awkward. Anyway, I spent much of last night looking through blogs of people who had weight loss over the past few months. I was really inspired by many. To see how they were once where I am and day after day, they pounded away at the pounds! Its great to see they also had frustrations and feelings of being tired and fed up, but just kept going. Last night I was kind of in a blah mood. Proud of how I'm doing thus far but looking down and seeing that I have sooooo much more weight to go. I know I didn't pack it on all at once, so i am going to lose it little by little anyway. Lose it by being dedicated and focused on this. I can do it. I know I can. 

Here is my day yesterday. I went pretty far under yesterday. That dinner makes it nearly impossible to keep with my points. I didn't work out though. I forgot my shoes yesterday. I am determined to at least get 4 days in this week. I MUST do it. I aimed for 5 to do better than I did the week before, but if I can't beat it, I gotta at least match it! 

Friday, August 24, 2012

Dinner tonight

Didn't work out to tonight ...boo. forgot my gym shoes. Enjoying leftovers of Turkey bolognese on top of spaghetti squash with weight watchers shredded cheese. Awesomeness.

Deliciousness

TGIF!! I am sooo ready for this week to end. While it hasn't been "bad" it has been incredibly stressful. The summer has truly spoiled me with time with friends and family. Now comes the life of solitude as I go back to cramming everything that I can left in only 24 hours of the day. This is the time I neglect everyone and pretty much become the worst friend on earth. lol. But I have great people in my life who understand and this year I am making an effort to squeeze in date nights, squeeze in girl nights, and squeeze in ME nights.

So I was finishing my tracking for yesterday and apparently I went WAY under points. Totally not on purpose. I made a delicious Bolognese sauce, which I took from Skinnytaste.com (as usual). I made a few modifications to it, for example, i do not like any kind of bacon or anything that tastes remotely like bacon, so I skimped out on the pancetta. i also used ground turkey instead of lean ground beef, and I used a few more veggies, for example adding yellow, green, and red bellpeppers and mushrooms ( I LOVE MUSHROOMS!).  See all ingredients below:

Skinny Bolognese Sauce

3PointsPlus Value
Prep time: N/A
Cook time: N/A
Serves: 16

Ingredients

And it truly came out looking like this: 

ONLY THREE POINTS for this delicious, veggie laden sauce. Instead of going the pasta route, i decided to  do spaghetti squash. Tasted amazing and again, my dinner was THREE POINTS. Well, now that I look at my points for the day, that modification kept me severly low. 
Thirteen points under plus I exercised. Hmm. I may need to start doing something more in order to keep my calories and intake in order. I know I am eating healthy but I don't want to be that low of a deficit. I have some edamame at work today and I think I will be indulging in some of that. This afternoon. With me working out more, i really need to up my protein anyways. 
Tomorrow is my friend's children birthday party and while I am looking forward to seeing the kids play together, I am not looking forward to all the cakes, cakepops, and food I will be surrounded by. Just need to remain focused as I have been doing already. If I am able to work out tonight, then I will be 4 days in with my workout routine. I will be trying to push myself today even more on that treadmill. I am SO CLOSE to hitting 11 mins for my mile.  I will also be focusing on some core workouts. Due to pregnancy and a wonderful C-section, my core needs some work. I will be doing some planking exercises at least twice a week and when I reach the 15 lbs mark, I will be looking to get a body wrap. Not sure if those REALLY work, but anyway I can try and keep my skin somewhat tight, I will gladly take. I will try anything at least once. 


Thursday, August 23, 2012

F*&% water weight!!!!

Just ran my mile in 11 minutes and 19 seconds.  Getting stronger everyday and earning this shit!!!!
Did 1.35 miles today and my ass is tired!

Aunt Flo came... and brought Cousin Laziness and Hunger with her...

Uuuugghhhhh....
My period is in full gear and has brought a grumpier, more sensitive, hungrier me... I know I need to mentally get past this by going to work out and really pushing past this time of intense carb cravings. Last night I did okay. I had my west indian curry with quinoa. I started off with a half a cup of quinoa and then wanted more so went for 1/4 cup more. I was just HUNGRY. My intention was at first to eat Cauliflower mash but I wanted something carby!! I also had some blue chips prior to my meal, so clearly, I was HUNGRY. Tonight, I plan on low carbing it up with some spaghetti squash. At least that is the plan. Then I am going to have a huge bowl of watermelon and blueberries with a half a cup of light cool whip. I am hoping that will trick my body into thinking I am eating ice cream. 

Anyways- I've just been super sensitive and I know its just my period and its stupid. Someone at work just made an offhanded comment about how I am just losing water weight and blah blah blah. Well you know what, Ive worked super duper hard for this "water weight" and I am going to keep on going.  Being that I've had issues in my past about my body and stuff, its hard when people make comments and I have the insecurity monster creep up into my head. My time of having an eating disorder is definitely long gone and I am dedicated to be healthy about this because I know the damage you can do to your body but the insecurity still lingers a bit, in the back of your head. But I am so blessed that I have a louder voice with my husband that screams how much he loves every inch and every mark on my body. He. is. awesome :)

So in addition to my weight loss, I've also been transforming my face. Due to PCOS plus coupled with having african american sensitive skin, I have TERRIBLE hyperpigmentation along my forehead, jawline, and  neck. I am blessed to have a symptom of PCOS that does not include irregular periods, however I did have the cysts (when I did a follow up after childbirth, my cysts were shed and so no cysts thus far), I had the insulin resistance, and I had the hirsutism, which is the abnormal hair growth on a woman which often would affect my jaw and neck. Always very embarrassing. Well now, I am undergoing an expensive dermatological treatment. I did this treatment prior to my wedding and was so happy with the results. I am excited to be doing it now BUT my skin is undergoing the first stage of redness and peeling like I am a damn iguana. I knew it was coming but its funny to see people look at my face and pretend not to notice when they are clearly staring at it.  Its been about two weeks since i've started and I already see a difference so I am super excited about it. My skin is smoothing out and the marks are starting to really fade. I'm aiming to be one hot nurse mama in 2013! :)

So here is my eating for yesterday. Stayed one below, so still doing well but it was definitely not easy. I also didn't work out yesterday. I just didn't wanna. I'll be making up for it today though...

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Mean people suck...

I hate when people don't think before they speak. Ruined my day :'(

Is it May yet?

School is kicking my ass and its only the second day. W.T.F? Nursing school has seriously got to be one of the hardest things to get through. The sheer volume of reading is enough to kick your ass into fetal position. This semester is OB and Peds and I am already about 70 pages behind. I am also fighting my butt off to keep my position here at the hospital.

Anyways, it looks as though Aunt Flo may make an appearance this week. Goody. I have already been dodging delicious goodness all day. This girl at my school made banana strawberry pudding. With extra vanilla wafer... you kidding me? Then I got to work and someone told me about all the free food they have left over because of the conference and for me to help myself. It was such a delicious spread. i literally had to run away.  Nope. I am staying focused. I do not want to emotionally eat away  my stress. I want to look for more healthy alternatives. My legs are SO SORE right now though. My thighs are aching and in a sick sadist way, i love it. I love that my thighs hurt because I've worked them out and the muscle is trying its darndest to grow and my fat is dissolving little by little each day.

Last night I made THE MOST DELICIOUS dinner. Being west indian, I LOVE my curry chicken, but its cooked in oil and has chopped potatoes in it. Welp, I made a skinny version. Instead of using oil, I just sprayed the pot lightly with Smart Balance oil spray. I skimped on the potato and instead went for green, red, and yellow bell peppers, onion, and garlic. then I just tossed drumsticks in, put a cup of low sodium chicken stock, and 1/4 cup of light cocunut milk. I had two drumsticks (with skin) and it was 11 points. Then I had a 1/2 cup of quinoa. Jonathan LOVED it. He scarfed down enough of my portion that I put his ravioli aside and made him his own plate. He loves curry but typically doesn't like peppers. Well I guess with the curry sauce, he didn't mind it.  Very proud of my dish :)

So here is my damage from yesterday. I was under points again. I need to up them back to normal. Today may be that day because I seem to be more hungry than usual.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Nonfat MILF in training

This is what a personal best of 11 minutes and 42 second mile looks like!  Never thought I'd see the day!  Crushed my previous 11:59. Also kept going to do a quarter of a mile more. I think that will be my goal on treadmill this week. And keep increasing until I finally hit three miles. I absolute dread my way to the gym, then pressing start on that damn machine but when I beat my time, man I feel good. I feel really good.


Second week Weight Watcher weigh in

Sooooo I woke up this morning not feeling all that hot. Looking in the mirror i felt like I lost some weight but really was just feeling bloated and fat. Not knowing when I would weigh in, I just decided to find a place close to school and get it over with. I will say that I refused to eat my breakfast until I weighed in. I know it wasnt going to make much of a different but I wanted to just get the first early morning weight. Well.... I AM DOWN 4.2 LBS!!!! I have a total weight loss now of 11.6 lbs. I am really excited :). It makes me want to just keep going. Even the weight watchers lady was like "WHOA! You hit your first 5% of body weight goal. You lost 7 last week and now 4 this week. I just want to remind you a healthy weekly weight loss is 1-2 lbs a week...." Which of course I know, but I am super proud of how I've been doing. I am documenting everything that I am eating and I am truly eating every 2-3 hours. I am starting to work out more. Last week I did 4 days at 30 mins. So not a large amount of time, but I just told myself whatever little I did at the gym, it was still better than sitting at home doing nothing. So my goal this week is to work out 5 days and one day of doing at home cardio. I am hoping to lose at least 3 lbs this week but really, I would love to see 100s instead of 2. even if it is 199. I want to see it. I want to see the 1s!!!
So anyway, last night I was under in my points. Here is how my day went:


Tonight I am thinking about cooking some healthy curry chicken. Typically you cook it in oil  and add white potatoes but I am making my own skinny version that will be all vegetables, no potatoes, cooked in low sodium chicken broth. I am going to use drumsticks, so I will have dark meat. I am still debating to treat myself with white rice or to stick to the huge load of cauliflower mash I have in the fridge.

Okay, so school started today. In fact, I am in class now. I am OVERWHELMED ALREADY!!!!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Even better...

Decided to try my endurance and see how long I could run. Ran straight for 6 minutes 24 seconds. Granted I was only going 5.0 but I was still proud. I decided to push and I did my mile in a new record on 11 minutes and 59 seconds.  Proud. Of. Me.

The start of a new week

Today will be the last day of week 2. I'm proud of myself and the way I've been on this journey thus far. Although I don't SEE results, my mental attitude has come a long way in this short time and I know more than anyone else that the mind is half the battle. So I will continue with my baby steps, because those baby steps will in time make a long distance between the old me and the new me.

I did well yesterday making up for overage Saturday. Stayed 8 points below, which was actually by chance because of a long shopping day with the hubby and offspring at the farmers market and Walmart. I have tons of fresh veggies and meats for the next couple of weeks. Last night after dinner, hubby said that he really loved dinner and is so proud of me and how I've really taken the bull by the horns this go around. He says he wants to really start eating like this, not just for diet, but always. I told him that is definitely my intentions. I want us as a family to make a lifestyle change. To make choices that will benefit our health and our bodies. To be an example to Jonathan. It is our responsibility to show him how to take care of himself, not just from the outside, but the inside. And while I've always been fairly healthy with Jonathan, I could see how bad habits can creep in slowly. Like in that last month, having fries/fast food twice in a week. Every blue moon or even biweekly maybe, but his body is still growing and so small, i need to make what goes in it really count. He is so proud to have me as his Mommy, and I never want that to change. As he gets older, I want him to be proud of me, the way I am so proud of him. My little muffin face.

So off to a productive week. changing my attitude, being encouraged by great friends and my mom really helped this morning and just doing what I need to do. Not going to worry about months ahead, just how to get through each week. I can do this. I know I can. I am putting the worry monster at bay. The worry monster can be so paralyzing. I won't let that happen to me. AND instead of food to lean on, I am going to lean on fitness. Even if I can only afford twenty minutes that day, i will use it. I need to make my health a priority.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Dinner tonight

My little low Carb concoction. 


Went over...

So, as always, Saturdays are my hardest of days. I was doing so well through out the day until the end. Went to a party hungry and sure enough ate enough points to put me over. It could have been worse... I resisted alcohol, cake, and the creamy sides filled with mayonnaise but that still didn't keep me within my 31 points. I know that they give you a 49 point buffer for the week but the perfectionist in me never wanted to have to use those. OH well. I did... and now I am doing my best to overcome that so I can still have a very strong loss this week. My goal is 4 lbs. Its in ambitious one but I know I can do it. I worked out 4 times this week, which is the most I've worked out in a solid week for a very long time.


In other news I am completely dreading this upcoming week. Im just scared of everything. Scared that school is going to be completely real and I will be in complete stress out hell until May. The balancing act of handling everything. I am SCARED. Going to 6 pm service tonight and I REALLY need to be in prayer. Sigh... here it goes.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Saturday...

Yeah, no catchy post heading here. My brain doesn't feel like working. Someone didn't give my two year old the Saturday memo... Um, why was he up at 6:45am? come on man!!!! not cool. Well that caused me to be up early and it will definitely mean we both go down for a nap today.  Saturdays are typically a harder day for me diet wise. Today is no exception. My friend is having a birthday at her house today at 5 pm. I am hoping I can stay focused and on my game while there. I know if I can make it past Saturday, I will be A-OKAY. I am thinking of eating prior to arriving so I am not tempted to stray off course. I am weighing in on Tuesday and I REALLY want to stay as disciplined as I can.. So we shall see how I do :). Yesterday I did well. Pretty much stayed on course. The shrimp and quinoa I made was ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS!!! LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED every morsel. If I knew I could eat delicious healthy food like I have been from Skinnytaste.com, I wouldve been skinny a long time ago! lol. My husband is loving the variety as well and since he can't work out because of his back, it is keeping his weight nice and steady, which he appreciates. Tonight I believe I am going to do that Thai dish again, but I am thinking of mixing it up with a little more seafood. I am thinking of adding scallops and calamari(well squid, but calamari sounds better than saying squid) to it this go around. Then having it on top of green beans and maybe 1/4 a cup of quinoa to keep the carbs down a bit. Well thats all I got on this tiresome day, but you guys have a wonderful weekend!

Friday, August 17, 2012

Whew!

One mile personal best... 12 mins and 1 second. I understand I only beat it by one second but if you saw the hideous way I fought for that one second, you will understand why I need to feel proud to report it.

Fat girl problems ...

Out to eat with my skinny bestie. Of course she wants to order the fried calamari,  a fried tempura sushi roll,  just everything that is tempting me. And she is such a great person that I don't want to ruin her experience by letting her know I'm trying to eat better because my weight issue isn't her problem! Let me try and make it through this lunch getting exactly what I planned on ordering prior to coming!!

The calm before the storm...

So next week I start nursing school. This will be the last friday for quite a while that I will feel mildly relaxed. That I could actually enjoy my family. My heart goes into palpitations just thinking about the stress that is awaiting me. I can't lie, I'm scared. I am scared because I know this road is going to be  hard. I know I did it once, but I there were times that I just didn't think I was going to make it...and I hate that feeling. God doesn't put more on you than you can handle, and I know that, but sometimes I wish he didn't trust me as much. lol. I'm proud of myself for making the steps to be healthier and I don't want that to change. I don't want the excuse of no time to creep in. I am just praying for so much now. I actually plan on taking a jog through our churches prayer path this afternoon. To have a moment with God to just really armor me against all the weapons the devil knows have been extremely effective in breaking me down: fear, self-doubt, failure...  I am getting myself ready for full fight mode this semester. I know I can do this. I know I can. I just have to keep looking straight ahead at the finish line (even though it looks very small from right here). Stay focused. Keep my eyes on the prize.

So I already spoke about my eating some yesterday. last night I didn't have the salad I spoke about eating. I think I was craving some carbs so I went for the Blue Chips again. Something called Garden of Eatin' Blue Chips. Apparently they are gluten free, which doesn't mean much because I can process gluten just fine, but since that is all the hype, I went for that choice instead. Also Jonathan really loves them so I may start buying those type of chips more often. So my intake yesterday is:
I stayed two points below. Tonight on the menu, I think I am going to cook:
Quinoa "Fried Rice"
Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes

As a side dish:
Servings: 5 servings  Serving Size: 1 cup  Old Points: 5 pts  Points+: 6 pts
Calories: 252.3 • Fat: 6.3 g • Carbs: 39 g • Fiber: 5.6 g • Protein: 11.7

Red Thai Coconut Curry Shrimp
Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes
Servings: 4 • Serving Size: 1/4th  Old Points: 3 pts  Points+: 3 pts 
Calories: 135 • Fat: 4.4 g  Protein: 18.5 g  Carb: 4.7 g  Fiber: 0.9 g

A 9 point dinner, not too shabby! I really think the hubs and offspring will also enjoy this tasty number :)

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Surviving the day...

So today was our nursing school orientation for the junior class. Being President of the class of 2013, I had to be there to help plan the food for the juniors as well as the skit, be part of the Q&A and for fundraising purposes.  IT WAS A COMPLETE SUCCESS!!!  So proud of the way our class has come together and I really did miss seeing everyone, although I am not completely excited about starting school again and being completely STRESSED OUT. Sigh...
But anyways, I just wanted to brag on myself a little because there was a buffet planned out and I think the world conspired together to bring all of my absolute favorite foods in one place. First of all the dessert table was RIDICULOUS! The most heavenly looking items including a key lime pie and... I FLIPPIN LOVE KEYLIME PIE. There were OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIES, which I FLIPPIN LOVE OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIES. There was POUND CAKE. And you guessed it, I FLIPPIN LOVE POUND CAKE! The choices were endless. And guess what...I didn't have ONE. Nope, not one bite of a cookie or piece of cake. I just didn't want it. Thing is, if I would be on any other diet, I would be angry because I felt like it was off limits and then took one, then three, then five. BUT I didn't have one this time I guess because I knew I could have it. It would have points attached to it, but if I wanted to, i could have it. And I didn't want those points. After all, I had to combat the HUGE food spread that had everything from pull pork, to authentic vietamese spring rolls, to macaroni and cheese, cheese dips, spinach dips, lasagna, chicken casserole...man oh man. Of course I will post my day tomorrow but just wanted to brag about myself and the fact I chose: 3 swedish meatballs, 6 All Natural- Garden of Eatin' Blue Chips (and after looking online, I realize I could have had 22 chips for a reasonable amount of points), I had a tablespoon of Mango Salsa (which was DELICIOUS), ONE of the most delicious Spring Rolls, and lots of fruit, that consisted of watermelon, cherries, papaya, blueberries. No delicious potato salad or macaroni salad, just that selection. I even skimped on the deli sandwiches because they had tons mayo and cheese on it. So patting myself on the back for a good day :) .
As for yesterday, i was REALLY under my points. I really need to make sure I am getting as close as I can each day. I'm just not as hungry as I once was and what I do eat truly is super filling, especially since I am eating every 2-3 hours now. But I will get better.
I only ran for the mile, so no weights or anything. I was EXHAUSTED but I am glad I did my little cardio for the day. Something is always better than nothing!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Sweat is fat crying ...

Sweating like a pig to look like a fox! Got a new mile personal best: 12 minutes and 2 seconds!


"Please, women that are of voluptuous size, put some clothes on ... All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautemous."

Man, I love me some HONEY BOO BOO CHILD!! Yes, I am ashamed to admit it and yes I will keep watching.

OH! Happy dance news. So I re-ran my mile from yesterday and I ran it in 12 mins and 24 seconds. I think that is definitely my "base" time and I suppose my personal best as of right now. Each time I run, I will try and beat that number. My ultimate goal is to do an 11 minute mile. I am wondering if I run outside on a track, will I get a faster time. I am definitely going to try that this weekend and see how well I do. It will most likely need to be a Sunday because football is starting up very soon and I am sure all the school will be playing at the high school. 

Anyways, my quest to get my vajiggle jaggle in order has been going pretty good today. Last night, I was well under in my point system. 8 points under. I decided to take today to up my points because I don't want to go too far under each day. I know the system is there for a reason and I need to be getting as close as I can. Truth is though, I am eating every 2-3 hours, and I am really not hungry for much else. I told myself if I am going to dip below, then I will make sure what I eat is very nutritious. For example, per my calculations, my anticipated intake may be approximately 6 points under tonight but for one of my snacks today I have edamame. Also pairing tonights dinner with Green beans. Tomorrow I am going to my nursing school orientation. Since I am president of my class, I will be talking to the upcoming juniors about what to expect and blah blah blah. they have a buffet banquet there with so much deliciousness that is going to be served. Nursing school is a huge reason why I gained weight. Every morning only being able to grab a poptart from the vending machine. Then with all those boring lectures, eating chips just to stay somewhere above comatose.  It will be a huge change for me and I am glad I am starting weight watchers a few weeks prior to the start of school because at least I would have developed somewhat of a pattern. I told myself NO MATTER WHAT, I am not quitting my weight loss goal. I will not quit, even if I fail. The weight watchers meeting leader who literally lost 215 lbs on weight watchers said that the most important thing is to make it to the meeting and get back into the saddle. She said that what happens is people may try and skip a week because they know they are up and they don't want the embarrassment of having that on record. So they miss a week. Then two weeks. Then they feel like they failed. This is alot of my story. I start a diet, eat "bad" one day and just say eff it, i ate bad on friday, I might as well eat bad on saturday. and sunday. Then I will start over monday. But monday comes and I didn't start over and so now its tuesday and you can ONLY start a diet on Monday, right? So I better just enjoy the rest of the week. Vicious cycle. I want to get out of that cycle. I may eat terrible a day, but if I do, I want to not feel defeated. I want to not give up this time. 
My intake from yesterday:
And last nights dinner was DELICIOUS!!!! I STILL can't believe ONE enchilada was only 4 points. I used the low carb, whole wheat high fiber tortilla and it was very tasty. My husband LOVED it. That will DEFINITELY be in constant rotation in the CHARLES house.



Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Yum!

Dinner success!!


What I am cooking tonight...

So I just found what I plan on cooking tonight, courtesy of SkinnyTaste.com.  I have left over rotisserie chicken at my house and definitely need to use it, soooooo I will be making my personal favorite:
CHICKEN ENCHILADAS! With it being only 4 points each enchilada, I will DEFINITELY be having two!
Low-fat Chicken Enchiladas
Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes
Servings: 8  Serving Size: 1 enchilada • Old Points: 3 pts • Points+: 4 pts 
Calories: 159.5
 • Fat: 5.9 g  Protein: 16.2 g  Carb: 17.8 g  Fiber: 8.3 g   

Ingredients:

For the sauce:
  • 2 garlic cloves, minced
  • 1-2 tbsp chipotle chilis in adobo sauce 
  • 1-1/2 cups tomato sauce
  • 1/2 tsp chipotle chili powder
  • 1/2 tsp ground cumin
  • 3/4 cup fat free chicken broth
  • kosher salt and fresh pepper to taste
For the chicken: 
  • 1 tsp vegetable oil
  • 8.5 oz (2 breast halves) cooked shredded chicken breast
  • 1 cup diced onion
  • 2 large clove garlic, minced
  • 1/4 cup cilantro
  • kosher salt
  • 1 tsp cumin
  • 1/2 tsp dried oregano
  • 1 tsp chipotle chili powder
  • 1/3 cup chicken broth
  • 1/2 cup tomato sauce
  • 8 (7-inch) reduced carb whole wheat flour tortillas (la tortilla factory)
  • 1 cup shredded low fat Mexican cheese
  • non-stick cooking spray
  • 1/2 cup chopped scallions or cilantro for topping

First Weight Watchers Weigh-In

I am so proud of me. There hasn't been a time as of lately that I have really said that. I've been proud of my family and my accomplishments, but I would be lying if I said that I have been proud of ME. Well today, I am proud of me. I had my first week weigh in at weight watchers and I lost....wait for it... wait for it.... 7.4 lbs!!! YES! ME! I stuck to it and I did it. And I did it and didn't feel deprived. Didn't feel hungry. I am so proud of me to sticking to it this week. I have a long way to go, but my short term goal is 11 lbs and I feel as though I can do that. I KNOW I can do that. As annoying as posting my weight watchers intake everyday must be, I will continue to do that because I know its truly helping me reach my goal. And even though I almost died yesterday in my 1 mile run, I know that all I have to do is strive to be a little better than I was before. To make good choices when it comes to food, but if I do make a bad choice, to own up to it and get back up on the saddle. That has been my downfall before. I feel as though I mess up, so I throw my hands up in the air and just mess up completely. Well not anymore. I am going to make this a lifestyle change. Today I got more motivated then I've ever been before. I also think looking at all those weight loss shows help condition my mind a bit. I met such a sweet person today at my meeting today. I swear if I had blonde hair and blue eyes, I would be her. We share the same story with food. The same type of relationship. The same feelings of self deprecation and guilt when we aren't on target.  And thing is, when you see her, she is absolutely stunning! Just beautiful. Makes me sad that us women do that to ourselves. That I've done that to myself. But we exchanged numbers and I hope to encourage her the way Danielle has helped encourage me. It is so much easier to be able to do this journey with someone who understands. My husband is the MOST encouraging, supportive, amazing person in this entire world, but he farts out a pound. He can be supportive in regards to his words and actions, but I need someone to be going through it with me. And of course, blogging always helps.
So anyways, here is my intake for yesterday. I did VERY well. I was under by 7 points last night :)

My points went down from 32 to now 31. I am not sure what I plan on cooking tonight. I'm thinking the Enchilada zucchini boats OR Zucchini fries and something else delicious. Thanks to Skinnytaste.com I have SOOO many choices and its been making this process alot more fun. No more bland ass pale chicken breast with brown rice for me! WHOOT WHOOT!

Monday, August 13, 2012

What the $%&# was I thinking?!?!?

Sooo today was my first day back in the gym after a very long hiatus.  On the 5k, I registered for the 11 min/mile heat. Ummmm what the flock was I thinking?!?!?  What the flock was I thinking even signing up for this 5k?!?! I decided to see where I currently am run/walking a mile and OMMGGGGG.  At 11 mins I was at 0.88 miles and I had to walk the rest. Like slow walking. I finished my one mile at 13 mins 40 seconds. My chest hurt.  I had that bloody taste down my throat like my lungs were melting from the burn and I was sweating something ugly. Wwwwwwhhhhhhyyyyyyyy!  But I'm determined to get my 11 minute mile. At church they spoke about everyone wanting easy without the hard. They want things but don't want to have to work for it. Getting my body to look like shit was real easy. I ate delicious goodness and avoided the gym. But I hate the way I feel about myself. I hate what my low self esteem is doing to my relationships and I want to have that confidence. And that road will be a hard difficult one. But I can do it. I know I can...